So anyway, according to this person (Dr. Mohd Puad Zarkashi. UMNO member, Deputy Education minister), identifying gay people is pretty simple. Just follow these simple guidelines :
"deep down inside, i'm pretty sure a gay person somewhere in malaysia would say "I prefer the term 'Homosexual' " ok that didn't come out as straight as i expected it to.Symptoms of gays:
- Have a muscular body and like to show their body by wearing V-neck and sleeveless clothes;
- Prefer tight and light-coloured clothes;
- Attracted to men; and
- Like to bring big handbags, similar to those used by women, when hanging out.
Symptoms of lesbians:
- Attracted to women;
- Besides their female companions, they will distance themselves from other women;
- Like to hang out, have meals and sleep in the company of women; and
- Have no affection for men.
I know your reaction now. It's probably this:
Anyway, i decided since i'm a man i should probably test myself to see whether i fit into the description of a gay person.
Symptoms of gays:
- Have a muscular body and like to show their body by wearing V-neck and sleeveless clothes;
Damn. Strike one on the muscular body
For the purpose of science and psychology, i have decided to ransack my cabinet and look for any article of clothing that fits into the description of a V-neck.
I found none.
So i decided to look at old facebook photos.
 |
| Nope. no V-neck |
 |
| still no v neck |
 |
| Totally no v-neck. |
That leads us to point 2.
- Prefer tight and light-coloured clothes;
again, looking back at old facebook pictures i fall victim to non of these
 |
| Nope. that's a dark coloured shirt |
 |
| White probably isn't bright. |
Which would lead us to the 3rd point.
- Attracted to men;
 |
| Probably not so much. |
- Like to bring big handbags, similar to those used by women, when hanging out.
 |
| not a handbag in sight! |
So according to the guideline. I am strictly not gay! Oh my GAWD my friends are never gonna believe me! :3
After reaffirming myself that i wasn't gay (not gay!) . I decided to put Jonathan Wee to the ultimate gay tester! :D
- Have a muscular body and like to show their body by wearing V-neck and sleeveless clothes;
Jon isn't exactly the most muscular person in the world.
 |
| You probably shouldn't ask where i got the picture from. |
But he does have a whole lot of v necks now that i think about it.
 |
| V neck |
 |
| V Neck |
 |
| V neck and oh my god the gayest hair cut everrrrrr. |
- Prefer tight and light-coloured clothes;
|
| umm. |
- Attracted to men;
 |
| definitely gay. there's a guy in the picture and he's wearing a v-neck. and omg call the fashion police, he did not just wear a pair of dark brown shorts. |
- Like to bring big handbags, similar to those used by women, when hanging out.
 |
| He's the one in blue checking his hand bag. |
He fits all the symptoms perfectly. I always knew he was a little bendy to the side. That'll probably be the end of our sleepovers.
And to conclude everything, i would like to thank the Goverment for endorsing such a spot on guide to identify between man, and MAN.
Verdict.
Aaron The Manly - 1
Jonathan the homosexual - 0
Ps: This post was made entirely to poke fun at the guidelines and in no way intentioned to have hurt/mislead/defame anyone. If you aregayof a homosexual nature and find this offensive, i sincerely apologize. It was never in my intention to insult your kind. You have your own taste in humans, and as do I. You gay people rock! Elton John, Ellen Degeneres, Justin bieber, Selena Gomez, Dumbledore, Green lantern, X-men!
*****UPDATE******
Just found this on the net. It totally seems legit man.
 |
| Uncanny. |
Peace out. Spread the love, not the hate.
PSS: I really hope i tak kena ISA
DEAR GOD AARON!!!!!
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